Gossiping is exhausting. Women have enough stress in life as it is, so why add to it?
Gossip wraps around sharing negative or intimate details about others, and lives are forever changed when the words are said. Do you personally know anyone that desires to be torn down instead of lifted up? Us either, but why is it so hard for women to ditch the habit of gossiping? Can’t we just be better allies?
How to Ditch the Gossip
We agree with Health.com, that humans have a social innate need to share information. We openly share the details of our everyday lives, which includes the experiences that we have with other people, and the intimate specifics about other people that affect our lives. Even though we are not speaking ill of a person, it may still be considered gossip. So, we need to be careful with our words.
It takes awareness to turn away from gossip. It entails being prepared. It can feel like work. So, where does a person start? When engaged in a conversation that feels like bad karma for everyone involved, pause and evaluate it.
What is the purpose of the conversation?
What good is coming from what is being said? Who is it helping? Who is it hurting? Does the conversation accurately reflect all sides of the story?
If you are not involved in a healthy conversation that is supportive and accurate, put the brakes on and stop talking. You can either not listen, let your mind stray away, decide to step up and tell the truth, or walk away. Refuse to spend any of your precious time involved in negativity.
What is the truth?
Always be prepared with the truth and defend it.
You have likely heard the ancient words, “The truth will set you free.” Sticking with the truth will buffer you from any burden of guilt and stress led on by gossip.
When caught up in a gossipy conversation, defend the person that is being talked about with the truth and always avoid making any remarks that you have little to no knowledge about.
What words should you use?
Pause before you speak.
Pledge to yourself that you will always carefully select your words when any discussion shifts to talking about others.
Are you an ally? Allies dedicate their entire selves to having a connection, a bond, that supports common interests, and gives mutual benefit.
Always base your choice of words on the foundation of being an ally! Just say no to bad-mouthing gossip.
Should you disengage from the conversation?
If you cannot shift the conversation away from gossip, or negativity that tears you or another person down, then yes, disengage.
Women especially, compared to men, have a difficult time speaking out.
When the conversation shifts to gossiping, your body and mind will feel it. Your heart races. Your emotions elevate. You feel defensive. These are signals that you need to take care of you. Either put on your bold hat and stand up for the truth – speak it or disengage from the conversation. When you do this, not only are you taking care of yourself, but you are being a better friend.
Should you stop being friends with gossiper(s)?
By design, our friends should be our allies, and this means having each person’s best interests in mind.
Gossipers are often manipulators, the opposite of people that can be described as allies. Gossipers are typically fearful, jealous, insecure, immature, and possess poor self-esteem. They find temporary relief and empowerment in their stories – they attempt to persuade others to feel as they do.
You can try to talk with a gossiper. You can tell them that you do not agree and that you do not want to gossip. You can tell them that you refuse to engage in conversations that tear others down. But know that your words may not be taken lightly. You may be up against a person that refuses to see reality.
To protect yourself and to start on the journey to be a better ally, you may need to break off the friendship.
Ending a long-term friendship can be difficult, but it is far from impossible.
Remember this, people change, and individual lives change – all the time. But the need that we have for a support system (and one that supports others fairly) never goes away. It is critical to our mental health to have people in our lives that provide us, and others around us, with practical and emotional support.
We need to be an ally, and live our lives connected as better allies!
The Mental Health Benefits from Massage
Your focus on self-care and your own body and mental health (forget the gossip or gossipers, problems with relationships, and the typical pressures that women often feel) can take you away from what troubles you in the world and put your mind in a deserving and healing place of relaxation.
You can also boost your mental health through massage. The continued and consistent use of massage is proven to reduce stress, provide positive treatment for anxiety, and decrease the risk of developing depression. It is therapeutic and it is backed by science!
So, we hope that you take a mental health day, or a reflective hour, to take care of you!
We want you to feel good!
We want you to be free of anxiety and pain!
Do you reside in the Austin, Texas area, or are you planning a visit? We want you to experience the mental health-boosting benefits of massage!